“Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
- Siddhartha (Buddha)

This is one aspect of Buddhism I’ve always admired, yet also struggled with to some extent: The ability to focus completely on the present moment. My mind likes to wander, it likes to reflect on the things I have done, and it definitely likes to dream. It’s easy to live in the moment when you’ve just arrived in a beautiful Italian city like the one in the picture above. And it doesn’t take much effort to live in the moment when you’re with the person that you’re falling in love with and you’re holding each other under the stars. But, it’s terribly difficult to lie in bed at night and not think back through the day’s events. And it’s nearly impossible to stand in the shower and not picture what I’m going to do that day.

But I understand the value of living in the present.

Just imagine having a conversation with a close friend, and you have something important you want to tell her. You start sharing this with her but every minute or so she checks her watch because she’s thinking about somewhere she needs to go, or she keeps looking at her cell phone because she’s expecting a call. Throughout the conversation she has not been living in the present moment. She has been focusing far too much on the future and the present moment has been tainted.

I see this in my students a lot as well. They complain about how boring summer is and can’t wait for the school year to begin. Rather than appreciating the present moment, they dream about, and create illusions about the future. Then, about a month into the school year, they begin dreaming about the next long vacation or thinking back on summer vacation. Instead of absorbing the moment fully, their minds are fragmented. It happens with teachers too; teachers who can’t wait for the weekend or another day off.

Yet it never fails, that the happiest people I know are those who truly do live in the here and now. They don’t let fear about the future overwhelm them and they don’t dwell upon the past and regret decisions they’ve made.

The happiest people I know flow with life no matter what direction it takes them. If they get caught in a traffic jam they slow down and appreciate the music or call a friend, they don’t freak out and let it ruin their day.

What I’ve come to realize is that there’s nothing wrong with having dreams or thinking back on something I’ve done in the past. The danger arises when these things consume me in the present moment. When I was teaching at Jehue my last year, I was not sitting at my desk daydreaming about teaching in Guatemala. My mind and my attention were constantly in the present moment with my present students. And when I’m in Guatemala teaching, my attention will be on my students there.

Only when I am away from my current students and on my own will I take the time to think about my old students and even write to them or talk to them. And, when I’m with my old students my mind will be focused on them.

This type of mental discipline is challenging and it takes time to learn to control your mind. But few things are more worthwhile and valuable than having the ability to focus on the present. It is something I’m constantly reminding myself to do whether I’m eating, reading an e-mail from a former student, or even writing in here. The more I focus on the present moments, the happier I am.

(This entry is dedicated to Lurvin for being the inspiration behind it.)

We are human and it’s human nature to learn from each other. The problem though, is that we don’t always learn the most beneficial lessons, and we certainly don’t always teach what should truly be taught.

One thing I think we should all learn more about is death. Not so much the death of a soldier, or 200 people dying from a catastrophic airplane crash, but the slow, insidious death that most of us are going to succumb to. And this is why I’m drawn to Morrie Schwartz so much. He devoted his death and life to teaching others. He was, as he said he wanted to be, “A teacher to the last.”

And it’s so seldom that we see, or spend time with elderly people anymore. You rarely see them in movies or on TV or in advertisements. So where do we get our lessons about life? We get them from young, ignorant people who are still as confused as we are. Who still think that the most important thing in life is how attractive we are, or aren’t. We learn to be selfish rather than giving, we learn to fight rather than to swallow our pride and forgive, we learn that death is something that won’t happen for a long, long time rather than something that could realistically take place any minute now.

Worst of all, we learn to be apathetic towards others rather than taking the time to care about them.

Through listening to Morrie Schwartz though, and reading Tuesdays with Morrie, I have learned valuable life lessons that have stayed with me, and will continue to stay with me until my own death. It’s true you know, “Once you find your way to such teachers, you’ll always find your back. Sometimes it’s only in your head, sometimes it’s right along side their beds.”

One of my favorite books I’ve ever read is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. The main idea of the story is that each one of us has the opportunity in life to follow our dreams and our destiny. The sad thing though, is that most of us don’t. We give up on our dreams, we lose ambition as we get older, and we settle. Whether it’s a career or even a significant other, we settle for what’s convenient, average, or “okay.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked a friend how his job is going and he’ll say, “Oh, it’s okay” or “It pays the bills” or my favorite: “It sucks, but it’s a job, it’s not supposed to be fun.”

This is settling. This is giving up. And in my opinion, this is sad and pathetic.

So why do people give up on their dreams or their Personal Legends as Paulo Coelho refers to them? Because pursuing a passion is terribly difficult and requires so much sacrifice. Right now I’m seeing this happen. My dream has always been to teach internationally, but in order to achieve this dream I’ve had to sacrifice so much. I gave up a job I loved in California. I’ve said goodbye to students and friends I’ve loved as well. And in less than two weeks I will have to leave my family and even a young woman I am becoming more intimate with to go live in a country for two years where I know virtually no one.

But I’m doing it despite the challenges and obstacles because it feels right. The more I reflect, and the more I question what it is I’m doing, the more confident I feel about my decision. And the people who truly believe in me and care about me, will support me regardless of where I end up in this world, whether it’s Guatemala, France, California, or anywhere else.

If you follow your Personal Legend, if you pursue your dreams, not only will you be happier and more fulfilled, but the world will be far better off as well!

The title of this blog is Education = Confidence. It could just as easily say Learning = Confidence, because the two are interchangeable. The point is simple: when you learn something new you feel more confident about who you are and what you can do. Obviously then, the more educated you are about any number of things, the higher your self-esteem will probably be.

Today was a great example of this. I learned to drive, and it was like I was 16 all over again.  With my brother as my teacher, I finally learned to drive a manual transmission car. And I have to be honest, now that I can push in the clutch, shift, and give the car gas all at the same time, I do feel more confident. It’s another thing in life that I know how to do. Matter of fact, I’ve been driving my brother’s car all around town with no awkward stalling or embarrassing sputters in the road.

More than anything, it goes to show that at 26 years old, I still have plenty to learn and when I become more educated I still feel good about my accomplishments.

Lyrics:

Hey there Delilah
What’s it like in New York City?
I’m a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can’t shine as bright as you
I swear it’s true

Hey there Delilah
Don’t you worry about the distance
I’m right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it’s my disguise
I’m by your side

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I’ll pay the bills with this guitar
We’ll have it good
We’ll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I’ve got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I’d write it all
Even more in love with me you’d fall
We’d have it all

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they’ve got planes and trains and cars
I’d walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we’ll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you’re to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don’t you miss me
Two more years and you’ll be done with school
And I’ll be making history like I do
You’ll know it’s all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here’s to you
This ones for you

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
What you do to me.

Thoughts:

I’ve always loved songs that tell a story like the Beatles’ “Eleanor Rigby” or Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight.” When a simple yet beautiful tale is combined with an acoustic guitar and a powerful melody, you can’t help but listen to it over and over. This is one of those songs. Ever since I’ve heard it I’ve been trying to memorize every lyric, and I can’t help but sing along whenever I play it.

It might also help that at this very moment in my life I’m falling for someone and she’s about to be 1,000 miles away from me.  Too bad her name isn’t Delilah.

Hello. I am a vegetarian. And I think I frighten people. I truly believe that if 100 aliens floated down to earth in a fluorescent spaceship, the majority of Americans would be more comfortable having dinner with the spotted, green aliens than they would with 100 vegetarians.

I also think that vegetarians get asked more questions than aliens ever would.

Questions for Aliens:

1. Where are you from?

2. What’s it like there?

3. Where else have you traveled/invaded?

4. Are you invading us or just visiting?

Questions for Vegetarians:

1. What made you become a vegetarian?

2. What do you eat?

3. You still eat chicken, and fish, right?

4. Why can’t you just be normal like the rest of us?

5. Don’t you get cravings for meat?

6. Do you honestly think humans are designed to just eat vegetables?

7. How can you eat cheese and milk but not eat hamburger?

8. How long have you been an alien…I mean a vegetarian?

9. Is this some type of crazy religious thing you’re doing?

You know, when I became a vegetarian three years ago, I assumed the most difficult thing would be to just give up meat. It’s not. The most challenging thing is answering the same questions every time I go out to eat and being interrogated as if I were from another planet.

But honestly, it’s still worth it and I don’t think I could ever go back to eating the flesh of another animal. I’ve survived this long, what’s another 50 or 60 years??

Dear Mom,

I know this isn’t the picture you would want other people to see. You would rather have a picture of you ice skating at the Sioux City auditorium doing one of your graceful turns, I know. You’d prefer a picture when you were all dressed up at work, maybe answering a phone at your desk as a secretary at Mercy Hospital, I know.

But I’m sorry, this is the only picture I have of you, and even this one’s not all that current. It was taken about two years ago, and to be honest, I felt terrible even having this one taken. Seems a bit ridiculous you know…”Smile for the camera!” Smile, huh?

Mom, you’ve had Multiple Sclerosis for more than 10 years now, and this is how I see you. The memories of you being able to walk, to drive even, and to attend my little league baseball games are slowly fading. I’m a victim of time, and it’s true that we often remember and think about what’s most recent. And what’s most recent is you being confined to a bed, to a wheelchair, to dependency.

But through all this I want you to know that this situation has changed my life for the better. You have given me perspective, purpose, and a determination to live every day as fully as I possibly can. I’m not saying that your illness is a good thing…I would never wish this upon you. But I also don’t want you to feel as though your sickness was futile and the remainder of your life has been in vain. I would not be who I am had this not happened, and in return I vow to work harder, and to live my life less selfishly. These lessons might have escaped me had this not happened to you.

Love,

Your Son.

Hoy, he estado enfermo. No sé porque, pero pienso que tengo el gripe. Cada vez, cuando estoy enfermo, yo recuerdo que necesito apreciar mi salud. Podemos encontrar buenas cosas en malas cosas. Acabamos necesitar la perspectiva.

I feel terrible for people who never visit another state or country or continent. Nothing limits your perspective on things, and nothing keeps you from being open-minded more than staying in one place forever.

Traveling changes things. It opens my eyes to food, music, people, and especially perspectives. It makes me more creative but it also makes me more caring. Every time I go to a new city or country, I’m always exposed to something new.

And that was true on the last trip I took to the East Coast. After a total of one week in Boston, New York, and Washington D.C. I know so much more and am no longer intimidated by the thought of these huge important cities. We fear what we don’t know, which is why it’s crucial to visit other places and learn about other people. Because if we know them, and understand them, we won’t be so afraid.

Once again, without traveling, without exploring, and without experiencing different cultures, we can never truly understand our own.

It’s 12:14 a.m. and in three hours I’ll be flying to Boston, New York, and Washington DC for a week with my brother. In a perfect world I would be sleeping right now so that I could be well-rested for the trip. Since the world is not perfect, and neither am I, I cannot sleep so I’m writing in here.

My brother, Nick, and I are going to the Live Earth Concert in New York on 7/7/07. You can watch it on ABC on Saturday, or just look at the website. The concert is designed to promote awareness about global warming and the list of musicians who will play is incredible.

Without the earth, there is no music…among other things. On the positive side, no more earth = no more George Bush.

Art can be found everywhere…even on YouTube.

After 1600 miles and more than 24 hours in the car, I’m home. After driving from Rancho Cucamonga, California to Sioux City, Iowa, I’m home. And after driving through California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Colorado, Nebraska, and Iowa, I am home.

Here’s the trip in pictures.

The majority of these pictures were taken in Utah and Colorado.  The other states should not try to take credit for the beauty in these two states.  For instance, Nebraska is a very boring, ugly state…much like Nevada, and it would be ethically wrong for either of these states to claim that they have mountainous beauty the likes of Utah and Colorado.  Don’t be jealous either Iowa…you’ve been hit with the ugly stick a few times as well.