Mom

Dear Mom,

I know this isn’t the picture you would want other people to see. You would rather have a picture of you ice skating at the Sioux City auditorium doing one of your graceful turns, I know. You’d prefer a picture when you were all dressed up at work, maybe answering a phone at your desk as a secretary at Mercy Hospital, I know.

But I’m sorry, this is the only picture I have of you, and even this one’s not all that current. It was taken about two years ago, and to be honest, I felt terrible even having this one taken. Seems a bit ridiculous you know…”Smile for the camera!” Smile, huh?

Mom, you’ve had Multiple Sclerosis for more than 10 years now, and this is how I see you. The memories of you being able to walk, to drive even, and to attend my little league baseball games are slowly fading. I’m a victim of time, and it’s true that we often remember and think about what’s most recent. And what’s most recent is you being confined to a bed, to a wheelchair, to dependency.

But through all this I want you to know that this situation has changed my life for the better. You have given me perspective, purpose, and a determination to live every day as fully as I possibly can. I’m not saying that your illness is a good thing…I would never wish this upon you. But I also don’t want you to feel as though your sickness was futile and the remainder of your life has been in vain. I would not be who I am had this not happened, and in return I vow to work harder, and to live my life less selfishly. These lessons might have escaped me had this not happened to you.

Love,

Your Son.