Divorce is taboo here in Guatemala. It’s not only shameful to get a divorce, but it’s also somewhat disgraceful to even bring it up. So today, when one of my students asked a question about my family, and it somewhat led into a discussion about my parents separating, she came up to me and apologized after class. And it caught me off guard a little, because I had forgotten how unacceptable divorce was.

In the U.S. whenever I would tell my students about my family, and about my parents getting a divorce, more than half of my students would raise their hands to share a similar story. “I live with my grandparents now,” one of them would say, “because my parents split up, and now neither of them are responsible enough to take care of me.” Or another student might chime in: “That’s nothing.  I’ve watched my mom get married AND divorced three times already.” I could go on and on, not just about the stories they tell, but how freely they share them as well.

And this is just one incident of cultural differences that I’ve experienced in Guatemala. Another one that still shocks me, is how common it is for a girl of 16, 17, or 18 to be with a man who is 25, 26, or even 30. While divorce is surely something to shun, a girl dating a man much older is completely acceptable.

In this U.S., it’s exactly the opposite.  Not only is this illegal, but it’s taboo as well. Rarely would parents, friends, or a community be accepting of a teenage girl dating a man in his twenties.

But I am not saying one is right and the other is wrong. Not at all. It just goes to show that who we are, and how we think is influenced a great deal by the culture in which we are raised.  Our culture often determines our religion, our taste in music and food, our daily activities, the sports we play, and even the type of people we’re interested in.

This is one reason I love to travel so much. I’m able to look at aspects of a culture, stand back, and decide for myself what kind of culture I want to create for myself. I can take bits and pieces from all that I’ve seen and become a sort of cultural mutt.

It is so true though: What we believe is largely what our culture has enabled us to believe.

“I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.”

- Mahatma Gandhi