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Para debatir la eutanasia, es un poco erróneo. Nos hablaríamos cómo puede querer morir una persona. ¿Por que quieres morir? ¿Por que estás triste? ¿Por que no te gusta tu vida? Vivimos en una sociedad dónde muchas personas no pueden tolerar el dolor y el sufrimiento. Entonces, necesitamos hablar sobre eso. Necesitamos enseñarnos cómo podemos tolerar sufrimiento.

Un ejemplo. Imagina una persona que está muy enferma. Ella tiene SIDA o algo horrible. Y, por supuesto, ella quiere terminar su vida. Tal vez, puedo decir, “Que horror! Ella va a morir en un rato. Meses, años, década, no sé. Pero es SIDA! AHHH!! Y nadie va a querer tocar a ella. Nadie va a casarse con ella. Nadie va a hacer el amor con ella. Que triste! Sin amor, sin sexo, sin tocando. No quisiera vivir tampoco!” (Es una mentira.)

La idea es sencillo. Ella aprendería cómo vivir con esta enfermedad y viviría mejor. Es fácil para dejar de vivir, pero es más difícil para aprender vivir con entusiasmo, con cariño, y con ganas. Todas las personas en el mundo sufren. Claro, hay personas que sufren más que yo, o tí, o ella. Pero, necesitamos hablar cómo aceptar sufrimiento y tolerar sufrimiento.

Todos morirán, pero no todos vivirán bien. Esto es el problema. No hablaríamos sobre eutanasia. Esto es inaceptable. Nos ocupamos del sufrimiento y cómo podemos minimizar el dolor. Todos pueden ser feliz y disfrutar sus vidas.

While most people do everything they can to avoid the topic of death, I think it’s one of the most important. We need to discuss it, think about it, read about it, and even witness it. Because, sooner or later, when we least expect it or want it, when everything is finally going right in our lives, or when absolutely nothing is, death will find us.

But that shouldn’t scare us; living inadequately should. And this is why I’m no longer afraid of death: not because I live perfectly or without error, but because I try to enjoy every single moment of my life. I do plenty of things I look back on and think, “Woops, I should’ve done that differently.” The reason I’m not afraid of death though, is because I’ve taken the time to contemplate it, and truly face it. In the process of understanding death better then, I’ve also learned to live much more fully. And that’s the key. Traveling all over the world doesn’t make me less afraid of death. Eating all the exotic foods I can find and indulging myself in delicacies doesn’t make me less afraid. What makes me less afraid of death, is knowing that every day, every minute, even as I write this sentence, I live life in every breath. While some people don’t “feel alive” until the weekend comes, or when they’re at some secluded beach, or when they’re playing a weekly game of futeca, I feel alive with every conversation. I feel alive with every class I teach. I feel alive whether I’m eating at home by myself or among friends in a beautiful restaurant. I feel alive right now because I refuse to wait until something “exciting” happens, since every moment is exciting and fulfilling in its own way.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still have goals that I want to accomplish, and things I desperately want to do before I die. Matter of fact, I even have a list of five things I hope I experience before death comes knocking on my door. They are in order of importance, starting with the most pertinent of all.

1. I want to fall in love and get married. Twice, I have fallen in love, and twice, I have fallen out of love. Neither relationship ended badly, but for various reasons we discovered that we weren’t meant for each other. And, since I value marriage immensely, it is not something I will ever rush into. I can patiently wait until I find the woman who I will fall madly in love with, and spend the rest of my life with. In my opinion, there is nothing more beautiful than the true devotion a man gives to his wife, and a woman gives to her husband. And I refuse to taint something as beautiful as love and marriage, by being desperate.

2. I want to have children. (This is actually probably a tie with getting married. However, since I definitely want to be married before I have children, I thought that one should go first.) Now, since I’m a teacher, I obviously love kids. Yet being a child’s teacher, and being a child’s father are two very different things. I want a son who I can sit with at night and teach to read, tuck him into bed, and turn on his night-light so he doesn’t get scared. I want a daughter who will hold my hand as I walk her to school, ask me awkward questions about boys, and then I’ll try my best to be honest and open with her, even though I’ll hate the fact that she’s starting to like boys already. I want to have “daddy’s little girl” and I want to bond with my son. I want to help them look for colleges, and tell stories about them in front of their friends that will embarrass them. Most of all, I want to sacrifice my life to make theirs better.

3. I want to live long enough to see what my students become. Whenever I teach, I don’t just see 13-year-old kids. I try to envision them differently, and this motivates me to work harder. I see them as doctors, accountants, lawyers, business owners, photographers, writers, and so much more. Someday they will become all of these things, and I want to know that I did everything I could to teach them well. So this is what I would like. I’d like an e-mail from a student of mine 10 years from now saying something along the lines of, “Mr. Topf! It’s been so long!!! But you know, I still remember things from your class. Like that respect point thing you did. Boy, I hope you’re not still torturing the kids with that! By the way, I was wondering if it’s okay that I call you Corey now? Hahaha (jajaja). You know I’m only kidding. Well sort of. Honestly, I’m e-mailing you to let you know that I graduated from UCLA a few years ago with a psychology degree, and for the last two years I’ve been working with emotionally abused children. It’s difficult to hear their stories, but at the same time it’s so rewarding to know I’m helping them in some small way. Now I know why you loved teaching so much! Well, I just wanted to say hi and see where you’re teaching at now. Somewhere crazy I’m sure.

Much love,

Your student”

4. I want to produce a full-length film or documentary. One idea of mine is to go around to schools throughout the world and film the way children are educated. And I’m not so concerned about whether or not the film makes money or is viewed by a lot of people. I just want to go through the process of creating a tw0-hour film about a topic that will inspire me along the way.

5. Finally, and this is probably the most unrealistic, I want to take my mom to Europe. At 58 years old, she has never been on an airplane, and never left the U.S. Unfortunately, because she is confined to a wheelchair and can no longer walk, the odds of her leaving the country now are very slim. But, if one day she becomes healthy enough, and if I get crazy enough, I’m going to surprise her with an all-expense-paid trip to London, Paris, Munich, and Barcelona. Seeing the look on her face would be enough to satisfy me for the rest of my life.

But like I said, despite any dream or ambition that I have, I could die tomorrow, and I would die a happy man.

“Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” – Morrie Schwartz.

I’m going to begin writing and producing a documentary; my first one in fact. It will be about one of the most important issues in any country.  It will be about EDUCATION.  And I know it sounds a tad bit arrogant to say that, since I’m a teacher and all.  It’s kind of like saying English, or the teaching of languages, is the most important subject since it’s the subject I teach, but this is different. If you look at any society and the way its people are, you can trace it back to the way in which they became educated. How we behave, how we come to view ourselves, the people we interact with, the facts and information we gain about the world, and what we’re able to do, or not do, all comes back to our education. To our parents’ educations. To their parents’.  And, of course, to our teachers’ educations.

So here’s the rub: I want…no I will…and I’m going to create a documentary about the different educational systems around the world. The objective is simple: I’m going to compare and contrast the way different countries on different continents educate their children and then explain how this impacts their society.

For example, in the U.S. there is an insane amount of emphasis placed on testing and accountability; not so much on creativity and analytical thinking. This, in turn, does impact the society. You create people who don’t question things as freely; people who feel as though they’re constantly being “watched over” by someone; people who, at the end of the day, comply to your demands. Sit in your seat and work, or I’ll fail you. Sit in your cubicle and work, or I’ll fire you. The teacher is in charge, do what he says. The boss is in charge, do what she says. “BUY THIS PRODUCT IF YOU WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL,” the ads say as the children obey without question or criticism.

This is far different than the philosophy of Thailand where emphasis is placed on self-discovery. The teacher is merely a guide, and the students are encouraged to find things out on their own. They stress the ability to come up with answers on their own, think for themselves, and to see the inter-connectedness of all things. Once again though, the teacher is merely a facilitator and a guide. Imagine what this does to a population of people who truly learn in this environment. It would be much more difficult to send these people to Iraq, or make them buy a plasma screen TV, or force them to sit at a desk ALL DAY and punch numbers or make telemarketing calls.

But words are one thing, images are another. Through the documentary, I would be able to SHOW these education systems along with the societies and people in which they’ve created.

Now…all I need is funding. Anyone out there have a few thousand dollars lying around? If you do, call me.

I never gave too much thought to Leonardo da Vinci until recently. He was always one of those guys like Plato and Aristotle that I’d hear about in school–how brilliant they were, what a difference they made in the world, etc.–and I always tended to ignore da Vinci. But now, after learning more about the life he lived on a daily basis, and the things he accomplished, I’m fascinated. Here are some things from the book I read about him, that I want to remember, before I give the book back. Some are simply sayings or things he did, and others are activities I want to incorporate myself.

1. Keep random notes about things in a variety of places. Don’t worry so much about keeping everything perfectly organized. If a thought comes, write it down.

2. The brain can learn seven facts per second, every second if used properly.

3. Take more time to draw and sketch certain things. Focus on details and try to recreate them.

4. At some point, make a list of 100 questions I have about myself, the world, or even simple things. Narrow that list down to the 10 most important and see what they reveal.

5. Meditate more often.

6. Ask questions constantly when I don’t understand something. Don’t be so proud that I’m afraid of not knowing a word or a person or an event.

7. Learn from others. Both those who inspire me and those who I wish never to be like. Learn from Anti-Role Models.

8. Awaken and stimulate the five senses with variety. (Taste, smell, touch, sight, hearing.)

9. Constantly work to create environments which foster peace, creativity, and that inspire.

10. Embrace change and ambiguity.

11. Mind map my past. Then do it for my present. Then, finally, for my future goals and ambitions.

12. Never forget that the body, the mind, and the soul are connected. What I eat impacts how I think. Exercise stimulates the heart, but also the mind. If my body and my mind are calm, so too will be my soul.

13. Remember: the environment and the people are connected, and we should care for each other as a result of this.

14. Keep my life balanced.

• Some final quotes:

“Amor vincit omnia.” – Latin Proverb

“Love conquers all.” (This was one of Leonardo’s favorite Latin quotes.)

“The love of anything is the fruit of our knowledge of it, and grows as our knowledge deepens.” – Leonardo da Vinci

“Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres.” – Spanish Proverb

“Tell me with whom you walk, and I’ll tell you who you are.” – Spanish Proverb

There’s a certain part of me that wants to believe I’m strong enough to be unaffected by my surroundings. If the people around me are angry, negative, stressed-out, or apathetic for the most part I feel as though I can rise above this and maintain my own gravity. I can be who I am.

But there’s also the undeniable reality that I am influenced, innately, by what takes place around me. My family, my friends, my colleagues, even my students greatly impact the person I am. Yet it doesn’t end there. I’m also shaped by the music I listen to, the movies I choose to watch, and of course the books I spend time with.

My world, the way I see it and live it, is completely carved by these things. That’s why I try to select these things wisely and why I’m careful about how I spend my time. One book I’ve recently finished, which I happened to read while I was battling a case of bronchitis is How to Think Like Leonardo DaVinci. I know it sounds pompous and a bit ridiculous, but I opened it haphazardly one day after a student had lent it to me, and I was immediately engaged. It talks about seeing life differently, smelling life differently, and even sets out questions we should generate for ourselves. The book details how diverse DaVinci was, and different techniques he used to keep track of his diverse thoughts. From mind-mapping, to keeping a journal on hand at all times, it was clear that no thought was wasted. One chapter that really caught my eye was about the connectedness that DaVinci saw in virtually everything and everyone. His curiosity for life intrigued me and inspired me to begin doing some of these activities as well.

Another book I just began reading is called Three Cups of Tea. It’s about a man who fails to climb one of Pakistan’s tallest mountain, K2, but in the process he discovers a village in desperate need of education for its children. He then, slowly, begins to motivate people around the world to help him in his quest to build schools in this remote region of the world. Up to this point he has helped build 53 different schools.

Through stories such as these, and reading about different people I become inspired. Sure, I can motivate myself and I can make my own decisions about the life I ultimately want to live, but I’m also wise enough to know that my perspective is also influenced by what I expose myself to. Who I am never has been, and never will be isolated from those around me. It is true that we shape the world around us, but the world most definitely shapes us too.

I took this picture two weeks ago at a music festival I went to with a group of friends in Santiago, Guatemala. Had my friends not persuaded me to go, I might not have. And, had a friend not taught me how to use my camera in this way, I might not have ever learned how to use this effect on my camera.

There’s beauty in writing; in the mellifluous flow of words.  And, unfortunately, this is why I struggle to write in Spanish.  I’m not to the point where I can write fluidly so I constantly revert back to the language I’m more comfortable with.  If I’m going to take the time to sit and write, I want the freedom to express myself fully, and be uninhibited because I don’t know the word for this, or I don’t know how to express that.

Perhaps, once I feel as though I’ve written enough in English, I’ll progress into Spanish.  But as of right now, I’ve been awfully negligent in my native tongue and I have the craving, once again, to write in it.