Category Archive

As if traveling to California, Oregon, Washington, and Iowa weren’t enough for the holidays, American Airlines has decided that I should stop for a night in Texas as well. It must be one of their frequent flier rewards programs. “At American Airlines, we know you have very little desire to see your family on Christmas, so if you fly with us, we promise to delay most of our flights so that you end up in random cities like Dallas, Texas. Here you’ll enjoy such attractions as continental breakfast and an unforgettable view of the airport. Fly American, and live the dream!”

So tonight, instead of making it home to Iowa, instead of seeing my family, I will be lodging alone with my books and my laptop. Since the plane I was scheduled to be on malfunctioned, not in the air at least, they had to switch planes which has caused a two hour delay. And, as a result of the two hour delay, I will miss my connecting flight which leaves an hour before I get there. Maybe I’ll get there in time to watch it take off though.

But it could be worse I suppose. It could be a lot worse. Like the men and women last night who were standing outside of the Salvation Army here in Portland. There must have been more than 50 people waiting outside in the cold and the rain, trying to find somewhere to stay for the night. And how ridiculous it would be for me to complain about a night’s stay in a hotel, paid for by someone else.

I suppose I could allow myself to get irate. Let my emotions take over and become furious because things aren’t working out EXACTLY as I had planned them! Or…I could relax, go with the flow, and remind myself that even though I’m coming down with a cold, even though I’ve been sitting in the Portland airport for three hours, and even though I’ll be spending the night before Christmas Eve in Dallas, alone in a hotel, I actually have it pretty damn good.

Oh…here are some pictures from Oregon and Washington.

Four years ago, almost to the day, I moved out to California to begin teaching. I didn’t move here to be close to the beach, or for the warmer weather, or even to make new friends. My main purpose for moving all the way from Iowa to California was simple: I wanted to develop as a teacher, and I wanted to have an impact on the children I taught.

Now, four years later, as I take a vacation from my teaching assignment in Guatemala, I am back visiting my old students. Sure I’m here to see friends, and people I taught with, but my main purpose once again is not for that. I’m here to see my students.

And on Friday of last week, at their high school in Rialto, I was able to see so many of them. Students who are now Juniors, Sophomores, and Freshmen came running up to me with huge smiles and open arms. They told me about their college plans, grades they’ve received, teachers they like and those they don’t, girls/boys they’ve dated and broken up with, friends they’ve lost and gained, and what clubs or sports they’re involved with. And as they shared stories about their lives with me, they also told me something else that will stay with me forever. They told me, simply in the way they approached me, that I did have an impact on them, and that my teaching made a difference. Whether it was the letter that one student wrote, or the t-shirt another student gave me, or even the tears that were shed, my old students showed me that my time here in California was important to them.

And I’m back here visiting my former students so that they know how important they are to me. This is my way to show all of them that they’ve impacted my life and my teaching, and that I’m forever grateful. The bond I have with them is more like a bond you’d have with a family member or friend, and by coming to their high school, all the way from Guatemala, I hope they understand how far I would go to help them if they ever needed it.

I came here to California with a purpose, and I feel like I’m achieving that purpose over and over again.

I need to begin by saying I loved teaching in Southern California for three years. I made friendships with colleagues and students that will no doubt last a lifetime. I improved as a teacher while I was there. And I would do it all again without hesitation.

However, I knew all along that the school system in California did not value the education of the children. Nor did it value the working environment for its teacher or administrators or staff. Michael Moore recently made a film about the inequities and injustices of the US health care system. I wish he would do the same for education.

The fact of the matter is, if we truly valued the learning environment of our children, we would do things differently. We would have more schools, more rooms, more teachers, more counselors, more administrators, and fewer students per school. Never has this been more evident to me than it is now, because I’m at a new school.

And so I want to point out the differences between what I experienced in California, to what I’m experiencing here in Guatemala.

• Teacher to Student Ratio:
  • California: 60 teachers for 1500 students
  • Guatemala: 200 teachers for 1450 students
• Class size:
  • California: 32 students per class on average
  • Guatemala: 22 students per class on average
• Teaching load:
  • California: I taught 25 periods per week and got 5 periods off
  • Guatemala: I now teach 14 periods per week with 10 periods off
• Custodial Services:
  • California: Three custodians at one time, who take out the trash every night, but only vacuum twice a week.
  • Guatemala: More than 20-30 custodians at one time, who dust the entire room, mop the floor, and even wipe down desks EVERY DAY.
• Collaboration:
  • California: Collaboration was supposed to take place among team members during the one free period we had each day.
  • Guatemala: Collaboration takes place at a designated time every week during the school day and does not interfere with free periods.
• Administration:
  • California: Three administrators for 1500 students
  • Guatemala: Six administrators for 1450 students
• Extra-curricular Activities:
  • California: We had basketball, soccer, video productions, anime, tutoringand a bible study group. Most of the teachers who did these activities were either volunteers or were paid by an outside organization.
  • Guatemala: We have basketball, soccer, swimming, track, cheer leading, tutoring, homework help, for elementary, middle school, and high school boys and girls. And the coaches or tutors are ALWAYS paid. I’m sure I’m forgetting quite a few activities we have as well.
• Curriculum:
  • California: Standards based with a ton of testing and the elimination of arts for some students, and technology or music for others.
  • Guatemala: Skills based with opportunities to do projects. Students also take art, a THIRD language, life skills, AND technology! Notice I didn’t say OR.

One of the main reasons I decided to teach overseas was exactly so that I could see a different education system. I wanted to be able to compare my first experiences with something else. All along I knew that the school system in America was unjust, but I needed to have something to compare it to.

The argument can easily be made that this is a private school, and my other school was public. At the same time though, if we truly valued education the way we say we do, then we would find the money and the resources to create more schools, hire more teachers and staff, and eliminate the overwhelming stupidity of standardized tests. If we can suddenly uncover a gold mine for a war in Iraq, then we should be quite capable of uncovering one for education.

“Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
- Siddhartha (Buddha)

This is one aspect of Buddhism I’ve always admired, yet also struggled with to some extent: The ability to focus completely on the present moment. My mind likes to wander, it likes to reflect on the things I have done, and it definitely likes to dream. It’s easy to live in the moment when you’ve just arrived in a beautiful Italian city like the one in the picture above. And it doesn’t take much effort to live in the moment when you’re with the person that you’re falling in love with and you’re holding each other under the stars. But, it’s terribly difficult to lie in bed at night and not think back through the day’s events. And it’s nearly impossible to stand in the shower and not picture what I’m going to do that day.

But I understand the value of living in the present.

Just imagine having a conversation with a close friend, and you have something important you want to tell her. You start sharing this with her but every minute or so she checks her watch because she’s thinking about somewhere she needs to go, or she keeps looking at her cell phone because she’s expecting a call. Throughout the conversation she has not been living in the present moment. She has been focusing far too much on the future and the present moment has been tainted.

I see this in my students a lot as well. They complain about how boring summer is and can’t wait for the school year to begin. Rather than appreciating the present moment, they dream about, and create illusions about the future. Then, about a month into the school year, they begin dreaming about the next long vacation or thinking back on summer vacation. Instead of absorbing the moment fully, their minds are fragmented. It happens with teachers too; teachers who can’t wait for the weekend or another day off.

Yet it never fails, that the happiest people I know are those who truly do live in the here and now. They don’t let fear about the future overwhelm them and they don’t dwell upon the past and regret decisions they’ve made.

The happiest people I know flow with life no matter what direction it takes them. If they get caught in a traffic jam they slow down and appreciate the music or call a friend, they don’t freak out and let it ruin their day.

What I’ve come to realize is that there’s nothing wrong with having dreams or thinking back on something I’ve done in the past. The danger arises when these things consume me in the present moment. When I was teaching at Jehue my last year, I was not sitting at my desk daydreaming about teaching in Guatemala. My mind and my attention were constantly in the present moment with my present students. And when I’m in Guatemala teaching, my attention will be on my students there.

Only when I am away from my current students and on my own will I take the time to think about my old students and even write to them or talk to them. And, when I’m with my old students my mind will be focused on them.

This type of mental discipline is challenging and it takes time to learn to control your mind. But few things are more worthwhile and valuable than having the ability to focus on the present. It is something I’m constantly reminding myself to do whether I’m eating, reading an e-mail from a former student, or even writing in here. The more I focus on the present moments, the happier I am.

(This entry is dedicated to Lurvin for being the inspiration behind it.)

Books, like movies and music, have a strange way of influencing who we are and how we look at the world. It seems a bit foolish to think a book can have this type of an impact, but if you’ve ever read a book that has opened your eyes to something you never knew before, then you understand what I’m talking about.

Honestly, I feel sorry for those people who have never read a book that has expanded their minds and even changed their lives. Because I have read many.

Below is a list of 50 books that have impacted me in some way, and either changed the way I live, think, or even look at the world. They are ranked by the impact they’ve had on me…more or less.

1. Tuesdays with Morrie
2. The Alchemist
3. The Book of Learning and Forgetting
4. Ishmael
5. Our America: Life and Death on the South Side of Chicago
6. Buddhism Plain and Simple
   
7. A Child Called “It”
8. A Long Way Gone
9. The Rose that Grew from Concrete
   
10. The Pact
11. Fast Food Nation
12. Othello
13. Travels with Charlie
14. Beloved
15. To Kill a Mockingbird
16. 1984
17. The Miracle of St. Anthony
    
18. The Grapes of Wrath
19. The Catcher in the Rye
    
20. Diamond Cutter
21. A Man Named Dave
22. Am I Blue?
23. Go Ask Alice
24. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
    
25. Siddhartha
    
26. Middlesex
27. The Diary of Anne Frank
28. The Five People You Meet in Heaven
29. Romeo and Juliet
30. Catch-22
31. Slaughterhouse-Five
32. Invisible Man
33. Native Son
34. Give a Boy a Gun
35. Night
36. Morning Sun on a White Piano
37. Maus I and II
38. King Lear
39. Breath, Eyes, Memory
40. Fahrenheit 451
41. The Sound and the Fury
42. A Room of One’s Own
43. The da Vinci Code
44. Midnight’s Children
45. Childhood’s End
46. Three Cups of Tea
47. How to Think Like da Vinci

This poem is best when it’s read aloud. It flows well and it can work almost like a fast rap. I wrote this in 2005 during my first year teaching.

Poetry is not simply words
placed side by side,
it’s a way of revealing
not concealing,
what we hold on the inside.

And poetry is not just a rhyme
you throw together from
time to time,
it’s way to express the stress
slapped on our chests
keeping us from rest.

The truth is…

The truth is…

If you don’t feel what I feel
then it ain’t real
If what I write leaves you bored
and not restored
then I might as well have closed the door
before you even came through.

Cuz poetry ain’t meant to be glossed over
and forgotten as if it were rotten.
Poetry is meant to move us
and make us see what’s true.

This poem was written in 2006 and appeared on the 8th grade DVD that year. The power of the poem is its simplicity and truth.

I’m not so good at giving advice
because I’m wrong
much more than I am right
but I do know this to be true:
select your friends carefully
because you will do as they do.

I made friends with thieves
in my younger days
and of course I copied their ways.
I stole, I lied, I cheated
no matter how badly I was mistreated.
They showed me acceptance
even gave me attention
in return, all I had to do
was serve detention after detention.

Then I made friends who were smart
who cared more about school
than pretending to be cool.
I read, I studied, I listened
my life finally had a goal, even a mission.
In time I went to college
where I got my degree
I became a teacher of children
now I help them learn poetry.

But things could definitely be different
now that I ponder my past
had I kept friends with bad company
my dreams would have faded fast.

So once again, here’s my advice to you:
choose your friends wisely
because you will do as they do.

This was written in 2007 during our poetry unit at Jehue.

I am poetry
I confuse people
but I also make them think
I amuse people
and make others want to drink

I am poetry
sometimes shallow
sometimes profound
sometimes frustrated
by what I have found.

I am poetry
and stronger than I appear
because words aren’t weak
when you make them clear.

I am poetry
and I exist in different forms
to break the norm
to calm the storm
and to provide some relief
from a life filled with grief.

I am poetry
and I don’t pretend to please
my goal is to inspire
or at least light a fire
and push people higher.

I am poetry.

I need to be honest about something…I think it’s healthy to cry. In my opinion it creates closure, and it helps us experience a moment fully. Laughter and tears are both powerful, but while we laugh often, at times I don’t think we cry enough, despite the fact that both are incredibly cathartic.

I CRIED.

This year, on the last day of school, I cried more than I ever have before. I cried in 1st period, then in 2nd, almost the entire period in 3rd, in 4th, and finally in 5th.

I cried because I worked more for these students than any students in the past.

I cried because these students worked so hard for me and showed me an immense amount of respect.

I cried because we helped the people of Darfur and actually took action about something.

I cried because comments like this were left on my board, “Mr. Topf, if more people cared like you do, then the world would be a better place.”

I cried because I may never see some of these students ever again.

I cried because I wanted to show how much I cared about each and every one of them.

I cried because of the impact they’ve had on me.

I cried because men do cry, and men do care, and my students need to know this.

I cried because of the poem a student wrote to me.

I cried because my students were crying, which showed they cared.

I cried because of the students who were involved in Jaguar Productions and Jaguars Basketball.

I cried because I’ll remember this year for the rest of my life.

I cried because I’ll remember this moment for the rest of my life.

I cried because I will probably never teach at Jehue again.

But I also cried because I couldn’t be happier to end my experience at Jehue with a group like this.

Love is Not Illegal
in the Ghetto

There was a student once
who refused to shake my hand.
He was afraid of love from a teacher
and this I can understand.
For he had learned that toughness
and hatred are what make a man.

In his eyes men fought wars,
and worked on cars.
He learned this from a father
who was constantly behind bars.
The ghetto had taken his love
and spared him only the scars.

There was a girl too
who pushed my love away.
Love scared her to death,
and it still does to this day.
Because she sees love as temporary
and knows it won’t stay.

She learned early on that men lie about love
to get what they desire.
In her eyes my love was not real
I was simply another liar.
Once again the ghetto
had extinguished love’s fire.

But this is a poem about other students,
more in fact.
Who not only accept my love
but also give it back.
They are like that rose in the concrete
growing from the crack.

Because these students are beating the street
and overcoming negativity.
They focus on the love
and not the animosity.
Nothing will stop these students
from attending a university.

Now don’t get me wrong
these students experience drama too.
They’ve had haters, lost love,
and found friends who were not true.
Yet they handle their drama with maturity
so you wouldn’t have a clue
that they are so similar
to you.

It’s time then, for me to thank these students
I shouldn’t have to say your name
you know who you are just the same
And you don’t show me love for recognition or fame.

I want to say thank you for the little things
like shaking my hand before class
like saying hello and smiling
whenever we’d pass.

I want to say thank you
for the important things as well
from following your dreams
to sharing things that were difficult to tell.

I want to say thank you
for overcoming the stereotypes
for being yourself
and ignoring the hype

I want to say thank you
for all the love and respect
What you’ve given me
Is much more than I could ever expect.

Finally, you need to know this:

No group of students has inspired me
the way that you do
And by giving you all that I have
I hope I’ve inspired you too.