“Tell me with whom you walk, and I’ll tell you who you are.” – Spanish Proverb

There’s a certain part of me that wants to believe I’m strong enough to be unaffected by my surroundings. If the people around me are angry, negative, stressed-out, or apathetic for the most part I feel as though I can rise above this and maintain my own gravity. I can be who I am.

But there’s also the undeniable reality that I am influenced, innately, by what takes place around me. My family, my friends, my colleagues, even my students greatly impact the person I am. Yet it doesn’t end there. I’m also shaped by the music I listen to, the movies I choose to watch, and of course the books I spend time with.

My world, the way I see it and live it, is completely carved by these things. That’s why I try to select these things wisely and why I’m careful about how I spend my time. One book I’ve recently finished, which I happened to read while I was battling a case of bronchitis is How to Think Like Leonardo DaVinci. I know it sounds pompous and a bit ridiculous, but I opened it haphazardly one day after a student had lent it to me, and I was immediately engaged. It talks about seeing life differently, smelling life differently, and even sets out questions we should generate for ourselves. The book details how diverse DaVinci was, and different techniques he used to keep track of his diverse thoughts. From mind-mapping, to keeping a journal on hand at all times, it was clear that no thought was wasted. One chapter that really caught my eye was about the connectedness that DaVinci saw in virtually everything and everyone. His curiosity for life intrigued me and inspired me to begin doing some of these activities as well.

Another book I just began reading is called Three Cups of Tea. It’s about a man who fails to climb one of Pakistan’s tallest mountain, K2, but in the process he discovers a village in desperate need of education for its children. He then, slowly, begins to motivate people around the world to help him in his quest to build schools in this remote region of the world. Up to this point he has helped build 53 different schools.

Through stories such as these, and reading about different people I become inspired. Sure, I can motivate myself and I can make my own decisions about the life I ultimately want to live, but I’m also wise enough to know that my perspective is also influenced by what I expose myself to. Who I am never has been, and never will be isolated from those around me. It is true that we shape the world around us, but the world most definitely shapes us too.

I took this picture two weeks ago at a music festival I went to with a group of friends in Santiago, Guatemala. Had my friends not persuaded me to go, I might not have. And, had a friend not taught me how to use my camera in this way, I might not have ever learned how to use this effect on my camera.

As if traveling to California, Oregon, Washington, and Iowa weren’t enough for the holidays, American Airlines has decided that I should stop for a night in Texas as well. It must be one of their frequent flier rewards programs. “At American Airlines, we know you have very little desire to see your family on Christmas, so if you fly with us, we promise to delay most of our flights so that you end up in random cities like Dallas, Texas. Here you’ll enjoy such attractions as continental breakfast and an unforgettable view of the airport. Fly American, and live the dream!”

So tonight, instead of making it home to Iowa, instead of seeing my family, I will be lodging alone with my books and my laptop. Since the plane I was scheduled to be on malfunctioned, not in the air at least, they had to switch planes which has caused a two hour delay. And, as a result of the two hour delay, I will miss my connecting flight which leaves an hour before I get there. Maybe I’ll get there in time to watch it take off though.

But it could be worse I suppose. It could be a lot worse. Like the men and women last night who were standing outside of the Salvation Army here in Portland. There must have been more than 50 people waiting outside in the cold and the rain, trying to find somewhere to stay for the night. And how ridiculous it would be for me to complain about a night’s stay in a hotel, paid for by someone else.

I suppose I could allow myself to get irate. Let my emotions take over and become furious because things aren’t working out EXACTLY as I had planned them! Or…I could relax, go with the flow, and remind myself that even though I’m coming down with a cold, even though I’ve been sitting in the Portland airport for three hours, and even though I’ll be spending the night before Christmas Eve in Dallas, alone in a hotel, I actually have it pretty damn good.

Oh…here are some pictures from Oregon and Washington.

“Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air, until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.
‘My god, this is terrible,’ the wave says. ‘Look what’s going to happen to me!’

“Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, ‘Why do you look so sad?’

“The first wave says, ‘You don’t understand! We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?’

“The second wave says, ‘No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.’ ”

I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again.

“Part of the ocean,” he says, “part of the ocean.” I watch him breathe, in and out, in and out.

- Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom

While we were in Santa Catarina (a small town next to Panahachel on Lake Atitlan) Amanda and I stayed at a bed and breakfast called Nimajay.  The owners, Joe and Kerry, not only guided us into town late at night over the phone, but they completely took care of us the entire time we were there.  We went on a boat tour around the lake, ate at some great restaurants, and relaxed.

Below are some pictures of the bed and breakfast and the lake.

And after one month in Guatemala, I am finally there. Here’s why:

• I’ve moved in to my apartment, met my neighbors, and even memorized my new address.
• I’ve set up my classroom, I know all of my students’ names, and I feel as though this is now my school.
• I’ve met new people and gotten to the point where I can already refer to many of them close friends.
• I’ve opened a bank account.
• I’ve cooked in my own apartment…not very well…but I cooked.
• I’ve established a routine.
• I have a maid coming on a regular basis…this is still a bit weird for me…nice…but weird.
• I’ve played basketball.
• I’ve done a little traveling.
• I’ve been to the grocery store several times, and been confused by products several times. What’s with this sweet milk not being cold anyway? I’ve never heard of warm milk…but it works I suppose.
• I feel at home.

Now, here are a few pictures of my classroom, my school, and my apartment.

On a daily basis we are lured by temptation. Tempted to say something we know we should not. Tempted to eat unhealthily. Tempted to lie around instead of be active. Tempted to be with someone simply for the thrill, rather than for any deeper purpose.

To make matters even worse, our culture seems to applaud and promote succumbing to temptation. Think about all the advertisements tempting us to buy a certain product so we’ll feel a certain way. All of the movies where a man is tempted and seduced by a beautiful woman. How often does he turn her down? And if, by some motion-picture miracle, he does look into her seductive eyes and say, “No, I have a family,” how often is this seen as a sign of strength?

As someone who in the past used to give in to temptation frequently, I do know this: I feel far more powerful and in control of my life every time I push temptations away.

It’s about SACRIFICE, and sacrificing something temporarily pleasurable for something more permanent and purposeful. Why not eat the two brownies, the donut, the bag of chips or the candy bar? Because you’re sacrificing that temporary taste for better overall health. Why not spend just one night with the girl from the bar? Because if you’re dating someone else or even married you’re sacrificing lust for love.

However, it seems that sacrificing anything of ourselves these days for the greater good is unpopular because we so rarely see it done. So instead, I create my own images of how I want to see the world and myself. I picture a man walking with his wife and children, his conscience clear because he knows that everything he has sacrificed has led to this point. And I picture him being healthy, his body clear of alcoholism, drugs, and fast food.

To put it simply: I want to continue SACRIFICING myself for something more meaningful and longer lasting, no matter what that might be. I want to continue to tame my temptations.

Tengo fotos abajo.

This is one of the entrances to the school which leads to the library. Everything is completely wide open which allows nature to flood into the classrooms and the courtyards.

Teachers playing frisbie in the courtyard during one of our breaks. Open spaces like this are common throughout the campus.

This picture was taken from the top of the library and some of the elementary classrooms are on the right.

This is the back of the library.

One of the many long walks along the campus.

I will be disappointed with myself if at any point in the next two years I take any of this for granted. This is exactly the type of environment I was looking for. Natural, open, green, and well kept. There is such a level of respect for the school and I hope the students have this same amount of respect for it once they arrive.

This is one aspect of Buddhism I’ve always admired, yet also struggled with to some extent: The ability to focus completely on the present moment. My mind likes to wander, it likes to reflect on the things I have done, and it definitely likes to dream. It’s easy to live in the moment when you’ve just arrived in a beautiful Italian city like the one in the picture above. And it doesn’t take much effort to live in the moment when you’re with the person that you’re falling in love with and you’re holding each other under the stars. But, it’s terribly difficult to lie in bed at night and not think back through the day’s events. And it’s nearly impossible to stand in the shower and not picture what I’m going to do that day.

But I understand the value of living in the present.

Just imagine having a conversation with a close friend, and you have something important you want to tell her. You start sharing this with her but every minute or so she checks her watch because she’s thinking about somewhere she needs to go, or she keeps looking at her cell phone because she’s expecting a call. Throughout the conversation she has not been living in the present moment. She has been focusing far too much on the future and the present moment has been tainted.

I see this in my students a lot as well. They complain about how boring summer is and can’t wait for the school year to begin. Rather than appreciating the present moment, they dream about, and create illusions about the future. Then, about a month into the school year, they begin dreaming about the next long vacation or thinking back on summer vacation. Instead of absorbing the moment fully, their minds are fragmented. It happens with teachers too; teachers who can’t wait for the weekend or another day off.

Yet it never fails, that the happiest people I know are those who truly do live in the here and now. They don’t let fear about the future overwhelm them and they don’t dwell upon the past and regret decisions they’ve made.

The happiest people I know flow with life no matter what direction it takes them. If they get caught in a traffic jam they slow down and appreciate the music or call a friend, they don’t freak out and let it ruin their day.

What I’ve come to realize is that there’s nothing wrong with having dreams or thinking back on something I’ve done in the past. The danger arises when these things consume me in the present moment. When I was teaching at Jehue my last year, I was not sitting at my desk daydreaming about teaching in Guatemala. My mind and my attention were constantly in the present moment with my present students. And when I’m in Guatemala teaching, my attention will be on my students there.

Only when I am away from my current students and on my own will I take the time to think about my old students and even write to them or talk to them. And, when I’m with my old students my mind will be focused on them.

This type of mental discipline is challenging and it takes time to learn to control your mind. But few things are more worthwhile and valuable than having the ability to focus on the present. It is something I’m constantly reminding myself to do whether I’m eating, reading an e-mail from a former student, or even writing in here. The more I focus on the present moments, the happier I am.

(This entry is dedicated to Lurvin for being the inspiration behind it.)

Traveling changes things. It opens my eyes to food, music, people, and especially perspectives. It makes me more creative but it also makes me more caring. Every time I go to a new city or country, I’m always exposed to something new.

And that was true on the last trip I took to the East Coast. After a total of one week in Boston, New York, and Washington D.C. I know so much more and am no longer intimidated by the thought of these huge important cities. We fear what we don’t know, which is why it’s crucial to visit other places and learn about other people. Because if we know them, and understand them, we won’t be so afraid.

Once again, without traveling, without exploring, and without experiencing different cultures, we can never truly understand our own.