Amor Vincit Omnia

“Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres.” – Spanish Proverb

“Tell me with whom you walk, and I’ll tell you who you are.” – Spanish Proverb

There’s a certain part of me that wants to believe I’m strong enough to be unaffected by my surroundings. If the people around me are angry, negative, stressed-out, or apathetic for the most part I feel as though I can rise above this and maintain my own gravity. I can be who I am.

But there’s also the undeniable reality that I am influenced, innately, by what takes place around me. My family, my friends, my colleagues, even my students greatly impact the person I am. Yet it doesn’t end there. I’m also shaped by the music I listen to, the movies I choose to watch, and of course the books I spend time with.

My world, the way I see it and live it, is completely carved by these things. That’s why I try to select these things wisely and why I’m careful about how I spend my time. One book I’ve recently finished, which I happened to read while I was battling a case of bronchitis is How to Think Like Leonardo DaVinci. I know it sounds pompous and a bit ridiculous, but I opened it haphazardly one day after a student had lent it to me, and I was immediately engaged. It talks about seeing life differently, smelling life differently, and even sets out questions we should generate for ourselves. The book details how diverse DaVinci was, and different techniques he used to keep track of his diverse thoughts. From mind-mapping, to keeping a journal on hand at all times, it was clear that no thought was wasted. One chapter that really caught my eye was about the connectedness that DaVinci saw in virtually everything and everyone. His curiosity for life intrigued me and inspired me to begin doing some of these activities as well.

Another book I just began reading is called Three Cups of Tea. It’s about a man who fails to climb one of Pakistan’s tallest mountain, K2, but in the process he discovers a village in desperate need of education for its children. He then, slowly, begins to motivate people around the world to help him in his quest to build schools in this remote region of the world. Up to this point he has helped build 53 different schools.

Through stories such as these, and reading about different people I become inspired. Sure, I can motivate myself and I can make my own decisions about the life I ultimately want to live, but I’m also wise enough to know that my perspective is also influenced by what I expose myself to. Who I am never has been, and never will be isolated from those around me. It is true that we shape the world around us, but the world most definitely shapes us too.

I took this picture two weeks ago at a music festival I went to with a group of friends in Santiago, Guatemala. Had my friends not persuaded me to go, I might not have. And, had a friend not taught me how to use my camera in this way, I might not have ever learned how to use this effect on my camera.

There’s beauty in writing; in the mellifluous flow of words.  And, unfortunately, this is why I struggle to write in Spanish.  I’m not to the point where I can write fluidly so I constantly revert back to the language I’m more comfortable with.  If I’m going to take the time to sit and write, I want the freedom to express myself fully, and be uninhibited because I don’t know the word for this, or I don’t know how to express that.

Perhaps, once I feel as though I’ve written enough in English, I’ll progress into Spanish.  But as of right now, I’ve been awfully negligent in my native tongue and I have the craving, once again, to write in it.

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I had this terrible feeling yesterday. I was in the shower, and I heard my cell phone ring. Then I heard my home phone ring. Then my cell phone again. I knew instantly that it was my sister trying to call because she’s the only one who knows my home number.

Then, suddenly, I had this overwhelming fear that she was calling to tell me that our mom had passed away. I know this seems illogical and even neurotic, but the truth is, my mom could die at any minute as her Multiple Sclerosis continues to destroy her body. And I’m left with the realization that, if something were to happen, I would not be able to say goodbye.

This is one of the hardest aspects about living in Guatemala. Although I love almost everything about being here, the thought of my mom dying without saying goodbye to her makes me feel vulnerable and even scared.

Despite the fact that every time I’m home I spend as much time with her as possible, and I tell her I love her repeatedly, and I make sure she knows how grateful I am for everything she has done for me…

…I’m still afraid.

We need mentors. I don’t care if you’re eight years old, 18 years old, or 58 years old. We all need people whom we can look at and say, “I admire them and the way they live their lives. I look up to them, because I know they are living their lives with a purpose and with truth.”

A mentor can be someone alive or dead, they can be someone famous, or they can be your best friend. But you have to be able to recognize something in them that you genuinely know is good and true.

Martin Luther King Jr. has always been one of my mentors for the simple fact that he gave his life to serve others. He sacrificed a great deal–ultimately his life–because he believed in a cause, and it was clear that his life served a greater purpose than simply entertaining himself or accumulating wealth.

The fact of that matter is, we need more positive heroes who not only remind us of what it means to live a noble life but who also MOTIVATE US TO BECOME BETTER. Some people I look up to and admire are below:

• Martin Luther King Jr.
• Mahatma Gandhi
• Jesus Christ
• Buddha (Siddhartha)
• Bill Gates
• Rosa Parks
• Bono
• Albert Einstein
• Abraham Lincoln
• Nicholas Glab
• Nelson Mandela
• And many more…

At times I get these poetic urges
and creative surges

I’ll write down a word, a line, then a verse
it feels natural to me, like a woman carries a purse

This has happened tonight
in the midst of a poetic delight
a flow of words have come out right

So here’s a poem about possibility
and a bit about helping humanity,
because if we’d each discover
and uncover our own identity
I do believe
we’d experience unparalleled unity.

We simply need to illuminate our light
come together, and hold on tight

And now…the real poem…

“Even a Small Amount of Light”

Even a small amount of light
when placed just right
can have the power to ignite.

Perhaps if its placed on a piece of art
the beating of the most hollowed heart
might, ever so slowly, restart.

Or maybe if its shined into the sky
as the sun drifts boldy by
the darkness might not make each day die.

Each of us has this same light
which we can ignite
despite the blackness of the night

We simply need the willingness to begin
exposing what we possess within
believing in who we truly are once again.

Then, with all of that light from inside of us
we can capture that love trying to hide from us
stand tall and and regain some pride in us
because we’ll shine together
and take great strides for all of us.

TV, you are evil. You are nefarious. And I remember why I have kept my distance from you for so many years, and why I’ve kept you out of my Guatemalan home. You lie to me, steal from me, and cloud my mind. You are so deceptive that, just yesterday, I almost went out and and purchased a box of Tampax Tampons just because you made them look so cool! But after I realized that I don’t actually use tampons, I finally decided to save the money.

But this is one of your favorite things to do, isn’t it? You are so good at making people buy things we don’t need. Like those Jordans I bought when I was in middle school and high school. I never NEEDED those. But oh, the commercials you made seduced me. The ones with Spike Lee and Jordan. The ones with him flying through the air. What kid wouldn’t want to fly? And this lured me into spending more money than my family could ever afford. Come to think of it, my mom must hate you as much as I do. Her kids crying and screaming because we just HAD to have those shoes. “I wanna be like Mike, mommy!!!” we would yell.

I wasn’t like Mike though. No, instead I was a self-conscious little brat who didn’t figure out how to ignore materialistic temptation until I was in my 20’s. Just imagine, I could’ve been stronger, and I could’ve had more confidence in myself if you weren’t telling me how much I sucked with every reality television show, with every million-dollar commercial, with every subliminal message.

And this is only one reason why you are rubbish, TV. I don’t even want to get started on the amount of time we waste listening to your nonsense. Instead of learning to play the guitar, or learning to draw, or learning a new language, you want to know what I learned growing up! I learned all of the characters names on Full House, Saved by the Bell, and 90210. I learned that Sam Beckett can travel through time and become a woman, or even an African-American. Information that’s never, ever going to help me in the future. All the while I could have learned about poverty, or even where different countries are located in this never-ending, fascinating world of ours. But you keep this simple and basic, so people don’t question and aren’t curious. It’s no wonder why so few people know when the Civil War started, or which countries were involved in World War II, or why children are such poor readers today.

I could go on. Matter of fact, I will. You also cripple the creativity of the youth. You keep family members from having full, enriching conversations. And you mislead us into thinking the world is a certain way. We learn to fear people of different cultures because of the lies you tell about them. We learn to love war because you romanticize it. And instead of showing us people completing positive, courageous acts…you show us a tiger escaping from a zoo and killing a man; you show us a woman who stabbed her husband because he looked at a gift too early; you show us celebrities who have been in and out of prison or drug rehab.

But it doesn’t have to be this way! Instead, you could show people who are volunteering their time in different countries, and children who are doing extraordinary things on a daily basis. But that’s not news, right? Who wants to hear about a group of middle school students raising money for Darfur, Sudan? Who wants to hear about Peace Corps volunteers all over the globe?

TV, you have so much potential to change the world in a positive way. If only you’d see how beautiful you could be. But wait…would there be any money in that?

As if traveling to California, Oregon, Washington, and Iowa weren’t enough for the holidays, American Airlines has decided that I should stop for a night in Texas as well. It must be one of their frequent flier rewards programs. “At American Airlines, we know you have very little desire to see your family on Christmas, so if you fly with us, we promise to delay most of our flights so that you end up in random cities like Dallas, Texas. Here you’ll enjoy such attractions as continental breakfast and an unforgettable view of the airport. Fly American, and live the dream!”

So tonight, instead of making it home to Iowa, instead of seeing my family, I will be lodging alone with my books and my laptop. Since the plane I was scheduled to be on malfunctioned, not in the air at least, they had to switch planes which has caused a two hour delay. And, as a result of the two hour delay, I will miss my connecting flight which leaves an hour before I get there. Maybe I’ll get there in time to watch it take off though.

But it could be worse I suppose. It could be a lot worse. Like the men and women last night who were standing outside of the Salvation Army here in Portland. There must have been more than 50 people waiting outside in the cold and the rain, trying to find somewhere to stay for the night. And how ridiculous it would be for me to complain about a night’s stay in a hotel, paid for by someone else.

I suppose I could allow myself to get irate. Let my emotions take over and become furious because things aren’t working out EXACTLY as I had planned them! Or…I could relax, go with the flow, and remind myself that even though I’m coming down with a cold, even though I’ve been sitting in the Portland airport for three hours, and even though I’ll be spending the night before Christmas Eve in Dallas, alone in a hotel, I actually have it pretty damn good.

Oh…here are some pictures from Oregon and Washington.

Four years ago, almost to the day, I moved out to California to begin teaching. I didn’t move here to be close to the beach, or for the warmer weather, or even to make new friends. My main purpose for moving all the way from Iowa to California was simple: I wanted to develop as a teacher, and I wanted to have an impact on the children I taught.

Now, four years later, as I take a vacation from my teaching assignment in Guatemala, I am back visiting my old students. Sure I’m here to see friends, and people I taught with, but my main purpose once again is not for that. I’m here to see my students.

And on Friday of last week, at their high school in Rialto, I was able to see so many of them. Students who are now Juniors, Sophomores, and Freshmen came running up to me with huge smiles and open arms. They told me about their college plans, grades they’ve received, teachers they like and those they don’t, girls/boys they’ve dated and broken up with, friends they’ve lost and gained, and what clubs or sports they’re involved with. And as they shared stories about their lives with me, they also told me something else that will stay with me forever. They told me, simply in the way they approached me, that I did have an impact on them, and that my teaching made a difference. Whether it was the letter that one student wrote, or the t-shirt another student gave me, or even the tears that were shed, my old students showed me that my time here in California was important to them.

And I’m back here visiting my former students so that they know how important they are to me. This is my way to show all of them that they’ve impacted my life and my teaching, and that I’m forever grateful. The bond I have with them is more like a bond you’d have with a family member or friend, and by coming to their high school, all the way from Guatemala, I hope they understand how far I would go to help them if they ever needed it.

I came here to California with a purpose, and I feel like I’m achieving that purpose over and over again.

It’s 10:15 in the morning, on the 10th of December.  I’m doing a little work in my classroom before I leave for the U.S. tomorrow afternoon.  And as I was hanging up different quotes on the wall, a Mason Jennings song inspired me to write.  One line in particular says, “And brother you should know, that there is no one in this world who feels no pain.”  It’s from his song, “Student of this Life” and it has prompted me to make a list of things I’ve learned over time in my short life.

1.  Everyone suffers and feels pain regardless of how much money they have, or how they appear on the outside.

2.  We can minimize our suffering, or increase our suffering depending on little decisions we make every day.

3.  Love is far more powerful than hate.

4.  We learn the most through experience.

5.  Everyone wants to be loved and respected.

6.  Death is inevitable; living a meaningful life is not.  We must work constantly at making our lives benefit the soul of the world.

7.  We all have a certain amount of energy, and when we use it to help others, our energy level increases.  When we use it selfishly, our energy level depletes.

8.  Dancing is good for the soul.

9.  What we eat impacts who we are.

10.  What we listen to impacts who we are.

11.  We need to be careful about the people we surround ourselves with.  Certain friendships are not always healthy.

12.  In order to not lose perspective, we need constant reminders.

13.  Every moment matters.

14.  Happiness is not temporary.  A happy person finds meaning in the most mundane situations.

15.  Show children respect and allow them to follow their own destinies.  Don’t force them into following yours.

16.  Love EVERYONE, even if we don’t always like what they do.

17.   Our actions DO change the world.

18.  BE ARTISTIC!

19.  Inspire yourself and others; be open to inspiration.

20.  Stop…to think…from time to time…